Monday, April 08, 2013

G gossips. GIRLFRIENDS?

I see the smile on your face. Yup, you know. But yet, yet you wish to lend your ears to the ever buzzing grapevine. I don't blame you. Women are such elaborate species. Add to that the sacrosanct circle of girlfriends. One could build nations in years and destroy the human race in a fraction, but this close knit group is impregnable. No, not to be confused with being unable to get pregnant.  Their icy stares mingled with their hot vibes, no defense mechanism has been known to uphold to that.

Stay with me as they feature as far as possible, strictly in order of importance (at least for the first 5). Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting to you, The Chronicles Of EVE!


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1. The Soul Sister : This one is a rare gem that you find. Two, if you are really lucky. She will see you through your ups and downs. Be your strength and watch your back. A secret with her is safe forever. Hold on to her.

2. The Evil Twin : A 'one in a million' catch, this. If you talk about murder, she'll come up with ways to bury the body. If you have a trick up your sleeve, she has two hidden in her bra strap. With this kinda girl, you are never in shortage of a good laugh or a master plan. Be friends always, she knows too much.

3. The Mighty Oaks : They are difficult to come across, but remember to keep your eyes open. These kinda friends are there when you need them. They will be all the support and back up you need. Once done, they love their space as much as they give you yours. Keep them in abundance for a happy lifestyle.

4. The Harmless Creepers : Available in plenty, they love to twist and turn around the mighty oaks and their sorts. Generally, they don't have a POA and hence go where the sunlight and the extended branches take them. Harmless, but can be annoying at times with their hovering tactics. Remember to prune them regularly.

5. The Virtual Greens : Dedicated to all the green dots around the globe. They are probably friends you've never met or friends who've relocated to far off destinations. Their 'ping' brings a smile to your face, any time of the day. They are a part of your life, virtually, and perhaps know a whole lot more than your mother, thanks to social media. Remember to be grateful. It is a 1000 odd birthday and other assorted expenses, less!

6. The Ingenious Pretenders : Ah! Intriguing species. They are the know-it-all, yet, they will pretend to be unaware. Every text, every post, every chat and every tale does not escape their attention. However, they prefer to stay behind closed doors. Something about people living in glass houses, they spend a whole lot on housekeeping!  Ctrl + Alt + Delete.

7. The Great Apes : No, not the ones swinging off trees. These are better. They swing off with your thoughts and ideas. Yes, you heard me.Anything you say or do, been there and done that. Present day stalkers, they bask in your limelight. Being inspired is good and imitation is probably flattery at its best. But why live as a copy, when you were born an original? Give them a piece of your mind, literally!

8. The Dial a Friend : You have a car, I want a ride. Get the gist? They might not 'know' you, but they do 'know your schedule'. Not that they suffer from hodophobia, but you are just a phone call away. And as members of the Travel Aversion club, returning the favour don't cross their mind, ever! There's no escaping their one-point agenda. Simply relocate to another city.

9. Barbie's Cousins : These girls are fun. They live in their own 'plastic' world. Everything is peaches and cream, and brands. Nothing exists in between and beyond. Their air kisses blow you away, if you haven't already drowned in their heady perfume. It is therapeutic to watch them. You instantly thank the heavens for the ounce of sanity you have left. Revisit them now and then. 

10. The One Above Judas : Of all the girls you have, none a match for this one. She is the  shapeshifter par excellence. She won't betray you just with a kiss, but will throw you a farewell party as well. She swaps loyalties just as easily as she switches between topics. Being in the line of fire gives her an adrenaline rush. Dangerous just got pretty (and) real. Be AWARE!



63 comments:

Laxmi Chundi Addanki said...

Awesome read...very well analyzed, I know at least one in each category. The post has a huge 'repeat value' :-) - thanks for providing slots to organize them ;-) Cheers Gee - Laxmi.

Corinne Rodrigues said...

This is a masterpiece! :)

Vidya Sury said...

Oh, what a neat list, Vinita! I am going to call my 1, 2 and 3s and say my I love yous!

Loved this!

serenelyrapt said...

I second Corinne. This is good.
Dagny

Roshni AaMom said...

oh my! I now need to go through my list and neatly categorize!! :D

sridevi datta said...

Awwww ... sometimes the line between 1 , 2 &3 is so fine that you cannot see it . But as long as they belong to 1,2 &3 , just hold them tight and never let them go !Hugs to you Vini , you blend wisdom with humor ....oops that takes care of my H and W post perhaps :)))

Priya Sreeram said...

this is the ultimate list vinita ; especially the 'remember to prune them regularly' had me in splits :)

Blogwati Gee said...

Hai na Laxmi. I also know....more than one perhaps in many categories...lol.

Blogwati Gee said...

You know me and my flight to perfection :P

Blogwati Gee said...

Happy to help Vidya. Keep an eye open for the others too :D

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks Dagny!

Blogwati Gee said...

Let me know if you find anything to add on Roshni :D

Blogwati Gee said...

Absolutely Sri. Whatever works for you.

And thanks for the compliment. I'm adjusting my halo :P

Blogwati Gee said...

Priya, I'm telling you. At times, I've wished a few murders were legal. Some women are brain dead anyway!

Rainbow Hues said...

Girlfriends...the most prized possession (after diamonds!)

A very nice analysis of the different kinds of women. Thanks :)

kajalkapur.blogspot.in (Rainbow Hues)

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks Kajal :)

JANU said...

This is selling like hot cakes. You always have a master stroke up your sleeve. Familiar with some of the kind on the list.

nd60 said...

this could infact serve as a ready reckoner !!! :D :D :D


I love the Barbie cousins ! ;)

Blogwati Gee said...

Experience dear Janu....is a great teacher :D

Blogwati Gee said...

Damn, I should have patented this :P

Suzy said...

Super and definitely food for thought.

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks Suzy :)

Dee said...

This is a good, well thought-out list. Girlfriends do fall in these categories!

Your Virtual Green,
D is for Deecoded

Afshan said...

Whoaaa blogwati - G your G is damn interesting today
GOSH ! I so loved reading it. Me gonna share it with all friends
funny , apt , sensible- a mix of all this post is
all categories are ok But i keep Barbie's sisters atleast 20 feet away :P
Good day

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks Dee. Me thinks so too!

Blogwati Gee said...

Barbie's cousins don't bother me that much. The Great Pretenders and the One above Judas are the ones to watch out for.

Shilpa Garg said...

Fab list! As I was reading, I remembered 'friends' fitting into these categories! :)

The Wicked Writer said...

A fantastic post, well done.

Blogwati Gee said...

I can so imagine Shilpa :D

Pallavi Purani said...

What a lovely expression of thought. I remembered my girlfriends as I was reading through. Somehow I have most of them in life <3

kirti said...

hahahaha! I guess I know them all ,only did not know so many categories.
My BFF turns from Mighty Oak to creeper and so do I . Oh! these two are quite interchangeable.
I am glad to have her.
Very clever post indeed.

numerounity said...

Loved this brilliant post from start to finish. How true! Off late I am meeting a lot of people from the category best suited and best described at the second half part of the post. Alas!The ingenious pretenders, the dial a friend (aargh), the apes...lots of them.

I used to believe in sincere friendships and often thought that if I am truthful, honest and sincere to others, they too will reciprocate but Alas I was sooooo wrong!

http://ektakhetan.blogspot.in

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks TWW :D

Blogwati Gee said...

Well, they are our lifeline, aren't they?

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks Kirti, glad to see it connect with so many!

Blogwati Gee said...

Well, it does take all sorts to make the world go round. Hang in there!

shooting star said...

interesting!!... :)

http://www.myunfinishedlife.com

Blogwati Gee said...

I know!

Chatty Wren said...

Brilliant analysis! The Ingenious Pretenders types seem to me the ones to watch out for most. Or maybe you need all these types to truly appreciate the sincere friendships.

Blogwati Gee said...

You bet Chatty! :D

Shail Mohan said...

What a great list. And what a hilarious way of writing about each :)

Cynthia Rodrigues Manchekar said...

Superb classification! I am grateful that I have at least one each of the good kinds. I actually spent the better part of 15 minutes trying to fit my friends into these categories.

Ruchira said...

I have a evil twin and soul sister all rolled into One ! Isn't that awesome !
I think I am a harmless Oak :P

Preetilata【ツ】 said...

Ekdum Bang on!!! With every point i was mentally revisiting my friendlist and damn! each and every type you have mentioned exists there.

OYou are so very cool yet HOT Womaniya. <3

Loved this post. :D

Megan said...

This is right on. Loved this, thanks for sharing. You definatley hit the nail on the head...and I wonder which friend I am!

https://www.m5carolin.blogspot.com

Naina Madan said...

Aww! This was so touching! I am so lucky to have a soul-sister and the virtual greens!! :-)

Cuckoo said...

Vinita this one is a gem! Worthy of being the "shared" post for a long time. Mind if I do it? My friends might at least wonder why I am posting these... and the ones who don't wonder are the ones who are secure in their friendship with me. :)

Awesome.

Cheers
Meera

Varsh said...

Wow...you got a pretty tight list here....and it is still elaborate...great read! :)
Btw...which category you belong to?? Tell...tell... :P

prateek mathur said...

Honestly, I can't relate to this one! Stupid gender comes in the way! :D
But I did spend some time trying to categorize my friends, girls and guys, into the ones u have defined :)...
The names of the categories were really creative. The first 2 were kinda Universal, but u were phenomenal in naming others!

sarahmalik said...

I loved....loved this post :D too good and the way u have given names to each specie (oh sub-species:P) superb!
And definitely the most annoying to me are ingenious pretenders...cant tolerate them! awesome once again :D

Blogwati Gee said...

Gracias Shail :D

Blogwati Gee said...

Lol, Cynthia...sorry for the hard work I put you through. But now you know.

Blogwati Gee said...

You most definitely are Ruchira. Don't see any other evil traits in you :P

Blogwati Gee said...

Awwwww Preeti......Muah!

Blogwati Gee said...

Aah, think about it. I think I reciprocate the category to the one in the sorting hat.

Blogwati Gee said...

Make that two of us!

Blogwati Gee said...

Please do. It would make me very happy. The word needs to get around :)

Blogwati Gee said...

Varsh, I am the Queen Bee. No one messes there :P

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks Prateek. You always notice the nuances and I love it.

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks Sarah. Glad you felt so.

Rickie said...

Truly, this is the best blog post of yours that I have read so far. Kudos! Not only is the analysis spot on, the beauty and simplicity (and humour) of the words is par excellence!
I LOVED it!

Blogwati Gee said...

Ah, the published author speaks. I am overwhelmed :D

Anu said...

OMG !! what a super awesome classification!! i loved the way u came up with interesting names for each category.. i was just recollecting my own friends in each category!! and yes, every girl has a friend in each of them.. am glad i came across ur profile on my uncle (rickie khosla)'s blog ! :) keep writing ! ur Fantastic!

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