Wednesday, February 20, 2013

God and I




This is how it all started. She is my lucky charm and  we share our blogoversary today. She completes 3 years, I just turned one. And it gives me immense pleasure to open the gates of 'guest blogging' on my blog with her post. I don't need a list of adjectives to describe her, you probably have a long one of your own. But the one word that comes to my mind is 'demure'. If you have spoken to her, Purba has the voice of a 16 year old. Yeah, she looks 21 though. Soft spoken, yet her words fall like a symphony when she is at it. Gracious to laugh at herself and show you the mirror if need be, Purba Ray is definitely A-musing!






Before the age of special effects, before innocence was dead, during my frilly frock days – God was my superhero. I believed it was He who could set things right that I had messed up so badly. He was my confidante, my sounding board, the one who listened to my whys and why nots patiently. He was my first strong and silent one before I graduated to Mills and Boons.

Now before you turn around and ask me, why He, why not a She – I’d like to admit that it was because I knew no better. He was meant to protect, while She was meant to nurture and I had accepted this logic without a murmur of protest.

My Thamma (paternal grandma) had a huge role to play in orchestrating my faith in Him. She loved God in all forms, in all his Technicolour glory. Every time she wanted to watch “Jai Santoshi Maa”, “Jai Bhambole” on large screen, I was expected to give her company.  She would watch the entire movie with her hands folded, while my face was a kaleidoscope of emotions – from a smirk, to amusement, to awe. I mean you have to be really cool to be riding a tiger, killing bad men with state of the art weapons, wear animal skin, smear yourself with ash and indulge in kickass feats. Things that mere humans couldn’t even dream of. If Ram was a knight in shining armour saving his wifey from the evil clutches of a lusty Lankan, then Krishna was the multitasking consummate flirt! They flew, they loved not once but many a times, they sat on a huge lotus in the middle of the sea and killed ugly creatures without batting an eyelid. And what’s more, they were all fair and lovely. Except Kali, the rebel who drank blood and wore a garland of human heads. Even those dead human heads looked so happy, strung around her dark neck!

So, can you blame my unquestioned devotion to them! I mean I had 33 million Gods to choose from to send in my requests and what’s more, all of them were so cool!

As an overzealous four year old kid who loved her pencils sharp, I once got so engrossed in my pursuit that I managed to decimate it to a measly stub. Horrified that I had snuffed life out of my brand new pencil, I promptly put it in front of him and demanded a rollback. I prayed, I cried, I ranted. He didn’t listen. But, he made sure that I didn’t get scolded for my “misdeed”.

I had become ambitious now. I wanted a brother. Since my parents looked quite incapable of performing this feat, I decided to forward my application to him. So every evening, for exactly two days, I would sit in the veranda, meditating. I made sure that the entire house knew about my noble pursuit.  In between I would take breaks, only to scream – don’t disturb me! I’m praying.

It worked and how! Two years later my mother gifted me a brother and I spent the rest of my childhood making life hell for him.

All through my school and college days, when I discovered I had spent too much time in partaking of the pleasures life had to offer and had completely ignored my syllabus – I would pray as if my life depended on it. Before the results were to be announced, I prayed harder – my heart filled with hope and longing, promising to give up guilty pleasures for that much coveted grade. It never worked.

But God works in mysterious ways. If he refuses to oblige you with miracles, he makes sure that you don’t miss out on lessons of life. He made me realize, Gold helps those who help themselves, the lazy can go to hell. He made me aware that I should never give up on my efforts just because they didn’t bear any fruits. He told me to never give up on hope and that life’s adversities are in fact blessings in disguise. And that the only roadblock between success and me was my fear of failure.

He made sure I kept my eyes wide open, ears sharp as I traversed through the U turns of life. And at the end of each deadly U turn was a sparkly pearl of wisdom waiting for me.

It’s now a Her. I call her Maa. She loves throwing googlies at me, dangling big question marks that rob me of my sleep. But I know she’s just playing with me. She has my best interests in her heart. She has taught me to accept the good, the bad, the ugly with grace. She has made me understand that there are no eternal facts, as there are no absolute truths.

I falter, blunder through life knowing her benign presence is watching me, with an amused smile playing on her face. But despite my failings, unreasonable tantrums – I know she hasn’t given up on me. At least, not yet.

She is my hope that refuses to die.

49 comments:

Alka Gurha said...

What a lovely post on your blog anniversary. Being inherently lazy, I often read your posts but do not comment. This one forced me to punch the keyboard.

prateek mathur said...

Well, even without knowing about your childhood, I would have confidently said that God has been kind on you! He showered you with the gift of writing and the power to define Him in your words!

Keep them coming! :)

Rachna said...

And, my elder son did the same prayed hard to all the Gods and goddesses to bring him a baby sister. Well mom could only get him a brother that he had to make do with! Interesting to know about your experiences with God.

Anita Jeyan Sandeep said...

Very nice post. And I loved the line "God helps those who help themselves" That is so true and realizing it is the biggest achievement !

Ruchira said...

What a lovely first anniversary post ! Both Purba and you write so well and I am lucky to have discovered both of you !

JANU said...

A wonderful bond...you and God; you and BG too. Happy Blogoversary to you too.

Roshni AaMom said...

Very touching, Purba!! And, congratulations, Vinita on completing one year!!!

Rickie said...

Such a lovely ode to Him/Her. Me, I sit somewhere in the middle of the 'Does He exist/not exist' spectrum - you know, like in food terms, on a Vegetarian to Non-vegetarian scale, I would call myself an Vegetarian who eats fish and eggs.
And I absolutely agree, the greatest lesson one can learn, hopefully early on in life, is that one has got to help oneself. God will assist, but you've got to take the first step!

Lovely post, Purba!
And my dear VB - a very happy anniversary to you!

Blogwati Gee said...

I am glad Alka. When the Queen writes, you have no choice :P Purba has that innate talent to work the keyboard into a frenzy :)

Blogwati Gee said...

Well, my foray into the Blogosphere began on such a positive note....I could not let down my lucky charm :) I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy to know you too.

Blogwati Gee said...

True that Janaki......:)

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks Roshni. Yes, from within us come the most inspiring stories. No one does it better than eastern ray of sunshine.

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks Rickie. Now if only a larger bit of the population would be spiritual rather than religious, the world would be a happy place. :)

Blogwati Gee said...

I am sure Purba would love to know she is blessed. I think with me in her life....she already does :P

Blogwati Gee said...

Gee, what is with kids and demands that involve 9 months of labour? Dogs are better right? Nah! I did the same darn thing....lol....and yipppeeee I got a sister :D

Blogwati Gee said...

So true Anita. Purba writes and it strikes a chord. As simple as that.

Akanksha Dureja said...

Lovely post! God or whatever that super-power is, I just hope we stop involving him/her in our material fights and make the world a better place.

Purba said...

Damn! Vineeta. There goes my carefully cultivated image of a sarcastic bitch! Btw, no one has ever described me as demure. It did feel nice though.

And when the tigress asks you to write on the occasion of her blog-anniversary, you just can't refuse, can you?

sharmila k said...

Happy Blogversary to you Purba and BG! Oh..and my first born too pleaded on top of her voice at Siddhivinayak for a sister. Bhagwan ka toh pataa nai,duniya ne zaroor suna !!





Blogwati Gee said...

And I'd raise a toast to that Akanksha :)

Blogwati Gee said...

Oops, sorry to do that. But then again, speculation keeps the intrigue alive. So let people guess who the real Purba Ray is.

And you almost made me sound like the mascot of a certain political party, but I'll take it as a compliment of being Durga's vehicle :)

Thank you.....for all this and more. Muah!

Blogwati Gee said...

Ha ha ha and we know about it! So basically a public appeal does work wonders :P

metherebel said...

Such a cute post this is! I liked reading about your relationship with God! The transition of God from He to She. Honestly I am yet to make up my mind if God is a 'He' or a 'She'.

As a kid I remember praying to God like you did :) This post actually brought back a few memories :)

Suresh Chandrasekaran said...

That is one thing that I try and fail at always - a post with a sensitive message and a soupcon of humor. And Purba does it so seemingly effortlessly.

Congrats once again on the Blogoversary - to both of you Purba and Vinita!

Nayana@CherishDreamLive said...

very beautiful post...she writes so well...happy blog anniversary to both of you.

Found In Folsom said...

Happy Blog Anniversary to both of you.. what a coincidence!! Enjoyed reading your connection to god. Can't believe your blog is just 3 years old. You have won the hearts of readers like your blog has been there forever. Always loved every post of yours. Keep writing for many more years to come :)

Rahul Bhatia said...

Wishing you both happy anniversary of your blogs and many more years of writing! This was an adorable post on the power of prayer and also the need for matching deed for favorable results:) Thanks Purba!

bemoneyaware said...

Congrats to both of you...for your anniversaries as well as the friendship that you share. I mean you are bloggers ...vying for the same readers..and yet you show how one can co-exist.
God and I - beautifully presented in Purba's style. ( I envy you ..wish I could write like that) We bribe GOD, we ask GOD, we go to GOD with our huge list of demands.. and GOD if he obliges answers we feel our prayers are answered, if GOD doesn't then it is for our own good.
I really liked how during the post GOD changed from HIM to HER.

Showa said...

Awesome stuff :) I discovered you through Purba's blog. I have also pondered about the gender of god. One of my post starts like like this.....

"If God wanted me to fly, she would have given me wings and a million miles preloaded frequent flier card. It might looks like a simple sentence but holds lot of meaning. I believe God is a woman. This is because of my feminist belief and that is the way it is in my household"

amit said...

Congratulations to both of you for the Blog Anniversary. It is addictive and I hope that you remain on this drug for the rest of your lives. :)
Coming to the post - I started like you Purba. God was my hero too but as the years passed I turned agnostic. It was very gradual but I was always aware that it was happening. I now firmly believe that the purpose of God's existance is not to solve our porblems. He has better things to do like create Universes. :)
Anyways, I liked the post. :)Especially those parts that reminded me of my lost innocence. :)

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks so much for the wishes Suresh. And oh yes, Purba is something else all together. A-mazing actually! :)

Blogwati Gee said...

You can say that again Nayana. Thanks for the wishes :)

Meenakshi Malhotra said...

There couldn't be a better way to celebrate than acknowledging His/Her resounding presence in our life. Impressive post. Congratulations to both of you.

Purba said...

Thank you and yes what a happy coincidence :-)

Well, even I can't believe that it's been 3 years already, stills feels like i started yesterday.

Purba said...

Thank you for reading, Rahul.

Purba said...

Glad you liked, Meenakshi.

Purba said...

In India, we have no choice but to believe in Him. After all it's our faith in Him that keeps us alive.

Woh kehte hai na, Bhagwan bharose!

Purba said...

I wouldn't mind a God like that! Can you share her contact details please?

Purba said...

You have been more than supportive of me. Always made it a point to comment, with no expectations of reciprocity. Thank you so much :-)

Nirvana said...

Congrats to both of you - and yes, I read both the blogs, so kinda feeling all warm and fuzzy with all the camaraderie here :-) ... loved the post Purba!

goingbeyondthepages said...

What a wonderful post Purba... You are a delight to read here as well.... What I admire most is the friendship you guys have struck .... Congrats to both of you on the anniversary :)

Bhavana Nissima said...

Both of your blogversary same time--amazing the coinicidence and therefore the post is apt! Congrats both of you! I loved the urban modern way of connecting with That--the way you break out of stereotypes, personalize and rebirth that connection. Loved that para where you speak that there is no eternal facts or absolute truths anymore--Purba, Brisbane has changed your writing content and the cake is now more moist, melts into the consciousness more easily.

Lazy Pineapple said...

Congrats to both of you for your Blog Anniversaries. You both have a special talent for writing. May she bless both of you with many such wonderful anniversaries :)

Purba said...

The best thing about blogging is the fantastic friends I made :-)

Purba said...

Thank you so much!

Purba said...

You are a better judge of my changing writing skills!
Me, I'm still the same, afraid of disappointing you all :-)

Purba said...

And we thank you from the bottom of our heart :-)

Harsh Kundnani said...

Heart-touching post.. Had a smile all the while I was reading it.. Happy Blog Anniversary to both of you :)

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks so much Harsh :)

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