Friday, December 28, 2012

The Best A Man Can Get

Dear Evening Stubble,

Do you know why the grass is always greener on the other side? That is because no one takes the trouble to mow those lawns. But, take a walk down this rough patch and you will come back bruised by its unkempt nature.

So it is with you. Laziness has never been bottled better. Disguised under the garb of a macho look, the five o’clock shadow has claimed many unsuspecting victims. Yet, none of them are any wiser, simply because you refuse to let go and I mean, literally. The media has put you on a pedestal as the ‘look to sport’, but they aren’t the ones living the nightmare. So, even as the Billboards glorify the desi clones of George Michael, let the truth be told. You are unwanted!

You just don’t seem to understand why the WOES?  Do you realize, you are the reason why………

  1.        Mr. Himesh has no girlfriend and not because of his nasal twang. You get ear plugs for that. 
  2.        Ms. Basu moved on in life because she simply did not want to be seen with an escaped convict.
  3.        Mr. Ajay had to drop a letter from his surname since lady luck could not recognize him.
  4.        Mrs. Roshan, tired of her husband‘s disheveled ways, took to kite flying as a hobby.
  5.        Mr. Shahid has not been getting any action in recent times, hence has been constantly changing lanes.
  6.        Mrs. Khan’s pleas fell on deaf ears, so she hid the TV remote during the IPL.
  7.       Junior has the world at home, yet his face is not his fortune.
  8.      Mrs. Kundra and Mrs. Kumar have apparently become friends, for they have nothing better to do in the evenings.

And wait, the above were specific case studies, but there are more generic instances too. Some species began as an overnight indulgence and went on to become Amazon forests. So much so, that a peck on the cheek felt like being caught with a Werewolf at Twilight. There are some who felt, it added to their face value and upped the chances of hot chicks finding them uber cool. Could somebody tell them, pricks don’t find favour with the ladies, ever..........!

Then, there are those, to whom subtle hints don’t work. Neither does spelling it out. They just won’t budge. Blame it on the agrarian economy we come from. We like to see all our crops in full bloom. If only the gardens of Eden could be watered from heavens afar, the womenfolk would still have obliged. Alas, the picket fence harbours the weeds of different kinds. And who wants to go on a treasure hunt through the maze every time? Most women I know, have an OCD when it comes to cleanliness. Take it from me.

And so, the battle continues and you, my dear stubble, have caused a cold war too many. Unwittingly, you have become the anti-social element in our lives. But not anymore! For, I now stand between you and your unclean plans. And, I don’t understand why you refuse to go? Not that you have to bear the brunt of a hot wax job! Just my masterstroke combination of a 5 blade Shaving Surface Technology with an Enhanced Indicator Lubrastrip topped with a 15 microfin comfort guard. That, my friend, is truly the best a man can get.

You know what they say, about never sending a man to do a woman’s job.  I've got a better one for you. Never let a man come in the way of a woman’s job. So, pack your bags and say au revoir to MANkind, coz I’ve got my designs on them.  

C'est la vie………… n'est-ce pas?


This post is a part of the 'Shave or Crave' movement in association with


Rickie said...

Damn! How dare you see through the ruse of the sexiness of the 5 o'clock shadow! Millions of lazy men, hunks or otherwise, are shedding silent tears.

This didn't even read like a contest entry. Hope you win!

Desi Traveler said...

Funny...All the best for the contest...

Ruchira said...

Ah but sometimes I find stubble sexy :P
This is a brilliant entry - don't forget to send me a postcard from Paris !

Roshni AaMom said...

hahah!! So the luxurious handlebar moustaches of the South heroes are a better option, eh?!!

Nirvana said...

Bwahahahaha.............. looks like we're gonna be sisters in crime, aren't we?? Loved it... All the best dudette!

Blogwati Gee said...

Rickie, if you think this ain't a contest entry...then I am doomed...............sob sob!

Blogwati Gee said...

That I am sure of Nirvana :D

Blogwati Gee said...

Roshni, I can't even attempt to go South......too darn scary!

Blogwati Gee said...

Ruchira, the stubble is sexy as along as you don't bring the man home :P

Blogwati Gee said...

hanks Desi Traveler.....funny is what I strive to be :)

Bikramjit said...

:) It seems you have not seen the latest pics I have put of myself on the blog, you will not like what you see then he he he he


Disha Kotak said...

gardens of Eden ! loved that bit !
all the best!

sridevi datta said...

Still laughing aloud ! Brilliant Vinita :)

Subhorup Dasgupta said...

This was crazy. I am afraid; very, very afraid. Saw it now after putting out a post for the same contest. If I had seen this earlier, I wouldn't have even tried!! I will plagiarize your post some day, promise!!

Blogwati Gee said...

I did...I did..............maybe this was a subtle!

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks for noticing my fav bit too :)

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks Sri. I am glad....I thought I was off key :D

Blogwati Gee said... will plagiarize my post!!!!!!!!!!!You don't know how happy that makes me.....I must have done a mighty good job then.....Yeah me!!! :D

Anita Jeyan Sandeep said...

You are a winner...! I am so jealous of people like you who can cook up brilliant ideas like these on simple topics ! Cheers and good luck !

Blogwati Gee said...

Hey Anita,

You are being very generous :) Well, you know how it is with contests. Some day you are the pigeon, some days you are the statue :D

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