|Pic clicked at Kala Ghoda - 2011|
As I listen to Frank Sinatra sing , I realized Bon Jovi suited my tone more. You see I have always taken charge of where and how I am. I like to be at the helm of things, even if I am alone. At times, I like it that way. I manage to get a whole lot done without interference. And I love the solitude of my own company. Yup, I am weird like that. I shudder to delegate for fear of a job badly done. My problem is, I take too much on my plate and manage to clockwork it, even if it means the eleventh hour. Why? Because I am like that and I've learnt it's ok!
I can’t twiddle my thumbs and sit still. I feel life is too short to waste it away doing nothing. It is much better to do something you love than not. I’d rather live it all up than let it go all down. Was I always like this? Nah! A couple of wrong turns here and there, a few missed buses, a whole lotta inappropriate choices and here I am. Still doing it wrong perhaps, who knows?
Even as a child, I always believed in finding the alternative. If I did not have something, I’d make do with plan B. I realized sulking never got me anywhere, but planning did. (Thank God mom is not internet savvy and won’t read this). More often than not, I had an ace up my sleeve and two hidden in the hem of my dress. Somehow, Jack of all intrigued me. Master of one did not have that flamboyance. And so my tryst with destiny and time to learn, make and do continued. I knew one thing for sure, no matter the road; I’d reach the destination, my way.
Yes there were times when it really wasn’t the route I planned. Fortunately, I was taught never to ask “Why me?’ but was encouraged towards “Why not?” Was that the best phase of my life. It surely was one of them. But the newer chapters promise to be equally challenging.
Are there things I regret? Sure, all the time. Am I contented? Are you kidding me, I still have space for some more shoes, I think! Am I going the right direction? No clue brother, but headed there all the same. Am I in charge of my life, right here, right now? Nope, never was, never will be. That is because I don’t live in isolation. My life is inter-connected with so many others. At times I do things which seem right in the bigger picture. At times I don’t do things for I feel it is the right thing to do. But if you ask me to go through this all over again, I’d do the same nonsense. This time with a bit of panache and a whole lotta attitude, coz I know in the end, I’m gonna be ok. Why I wouldn't change anything at all? Because if I do, I might be in some parallel universe without any road signs!
My dad, who remains my biggest hero and source of inspiration would often say, “We are born naked and we die clothed in a coffin. This entire rigmarole called life is only for a pair of clothes. Don’t sweat it. Fashion keeps changing.” Wiser words have never been uttered and I swear by them.
So I am grateful for all my yesterdays for they shaped my today. As for my tomorrow, I can't wait to unravel what surprises it holds. I know I have so much more to do. And yup I know I will. Right now, this moment is never coming back. So I’m just gonna spend it in the best way I can. I choose to be simply me. And for the record, my life really is an open book written in Braille, you just need to keep your eyes closed to get the feel of it.