Sunday, August 26, 2012

Halkat Jawani?


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17Again was a movie I quite enjoyed watching. The plot is simple, if not evident from the title already. Mathew Perry (who I adore) gets a chance to rewind his life to the way he always wanted to. Zac Efron, essays the younger Perry and goes back to school to regain his Football star status. That he eventually moves on to the path of self discovery is a given and we all get a happy ending. And that left me thinking, how many times have we wished, if we could turn back time?

Right enough to add fuel to the fire, I chanced upon this ad, 18 again. I laughed at the choice of a plagiarized name. One look at the ad, I was cursing the advertising agency too! Whoever said you need to be 18 to learn to dance? Oh yeah, there is that bit of being a virgin all over again, which is debatable really. We still have virgins at 18 these days? If not, why the hue and cry over a cherry that you’ve popped way back in history. Why would any woman in her sane mind want to grow it all back? Such a huge issue over a tissue, I tell you. And I'm sure most men would not want a virgin either. I mean it is obvious; knowledge is what helps in the long run, no? One way street is a no man’s paradise. Two-way traffic ensures there are no unnecessary jams.

Tight is not exactly flattering. I mean we want our new shoes to get comfortable and love to slip into a snug pair of jeans. Tight is uncomfortable, awkward and destined to be loose eventually. Laws of gravity. So what in the world would I do with a revamped vagina that behaved like a snooty bitch and refused to be warm and accommodating?  My entire being would be redirected to the scares of waning puberty, now long forgotten.  I shuddered at being reintroduced, to a subject I’d already mastered. So far, the prospect of turning 18 all over again had been nothing short of a nightmare.

In the animal kingdom, the male species are the ‘good looking’ ones. Clearly, since they need to attract the female species for furthering their tribe.  However, the equation changes when we come to the social animal. And so, the retail markets have cause to thrive on products that promise you the eternal fount of youth. What they don’t get is every wrinkle is rightfully earned, every frown line is a nostalgic memory. I might not conform to your standards of perfection, that is because I am a masterpiece! There is just nobody else like me. So why should I give up that privilege? I am me with all the cellulite, spots and dark armpits. Deal with it.

In all this, if you talk to me about hygiene and care, I will listen. You discuss about incontinence, I will understand.  You speak about menstrual cramps I will agree. You promote education about women’s health, I will participate. Don’t make me a specimen to test the crores of rupees you spend on promoting a product that you think I need.  

Yes I can break into a melodrama about women's rights, liberation et al, but that won't take either of us anywhere. You have a product to sell. I have just another product I won't buy. Not because I am embarrassed to do so. Heck, I check the latest flavours for condoms, so there you go. But because you have not succeeded in telling me why I need this product. Salsa I know. Kegel exercises I do. Mother-in-law I don't have. So now what are we left with?

And just in case you haven’t realized by now, it is never just the sex for us ladies. Show us a man who can hold an intelligent conversation and we will show you a woman on top.


This post is a part of the weekend blogging contest at BlogAdda.com in association with 18again.com



46 comments:

JANU said...

Ooo la la...hat's off Lady. Totally awesome.

Blogwati Gee said...

Thank you.....and yes I heart you too :D

Rickie said...

Now that I have seen this ad, please tell me how to unsee it in my mind!

Anyway, I can't figure out this country. For a nation where everything related to genitalia is SEX, and everything related to SEX is evil, we surely have no issues making so many babies.

Sometimes, actually many times, I think achcha hi kiya that I gave up Indian citizenship.

SJ said...

Lol good one. Not the right one to comment being a virgin!!

didnt think the ad cud arise such emotions,, but definitely a valid point

http://styledestino.blogspot.com

jaish_vats said...

Hi

The flow in your writing is very good In non-fiction esp its tough to hold the readers attention throughout and you seem to be excelling at that.Kudos

Blogwati Gee said...

Rickie, the babies are the by product when they are trying to have a good time.

Blogwati Gee said...

SJ, Ahem......go back to your room!

Blogwati Gee said...

Jaish, A compliment on the most unlikely post....but thank you :D

Ruchira said...

I absolutely love the last line :P
Sunday's Delhi TOI had a whole page devoted to this advert !

Farila said...

A post of full Vinitaisms... LOL

Blogwati Gee said...

Yup, the finale is my fav too! I just can't get over this product ad, though there have been many predecessors.

Blogwati Gee said...

Yup Farila, true that...lol~

Susan Deborah said...

Quite spot on, V. Just read Shoba De's piece in The Week. Similar thoughts but I think yours is better.

I wonder why this obsession!

Joy always,
Susan

rraima puniwala said...

SUPER COOL...BABE!!!!! I showed your blog to my creative team and had most of them cringing....one of them commented that we ( advertising agencies, copy writers) will be out of our jobs if more of your clan grows. I had a good laugh and told them ..' Chill guys....only one 'Vini' out there , we still have the remaining 99 crore bakras ...WINK :)

Blogwati Gee said...

Wow that's quite a compliment Susan. Not sure if Ms. De will appreciate it though :D

Blogwati Gee said...

Rraima, as an ex- advertising personnel, I know the grind between creativity and sell ability. But, I still feel as media, we feed wrong messages to the audience and then hope our kids turn out well????

And oh there are more of my tribe...trust me...lol :)

Zephyr said...

The entries in this contest must be making the sponsors cringe in shame or are they? But at another level I feel that such products are sold so brazenly because there are millions of gullible women out there who have the same notions of empowerment being in fairness and tight vaginas. :(


Loved the ones by Blogeshwaris I have read in this contest so far. And when Vinita leads the way, there sure is going to be heads rolling :D

Blogwati Gee said...

Zephyr, for a change I was one the last ones to join the bandwagon this time. But hope it has the desired effect :)

Absolute Insane said...

what a punch to end it ! Like it ! can't comment just yet haven't been to the heavens of love yet .. :P

Blogwati Gee said...

Absolute Insane... glad to know I have managed to raise your hopes :P

prateek mathur said...

Its really a witty and funny post...but somehow I felt that u were already judgmental that these ads are anti-women or something that's offensive...
They have a product, because they have consumers...and as the cycle normally goes, its the demand first, so u have to admit, there are women who want it...
Comparison with animal kingdom and the male superiority was somthing i really didn't get...men have a lot of products to make them "feel" younger...like little blue pills called viagara...or something as simple as a hair color...or the anti-ageing creams...so its not just women who have such "offensive" products to face...
It's just human to arrest the youth...to find the elixir of life...in whatever way we can!

Blogwati Gee said...

Hey Prateek, thanks for finally writing in :)

My grouse is not against the product or the market for such products per se for I know they exist.It is the brand positioning I don't get. Here or otherwise, being a virgin I think is over rated. How is tightening and whitening helping in sexual fantasies? Isn't it all about the act in fact? And then after feeling like the 'virgin' then what? Recycled virgin? LOL!

Comparison with animal kingdom because there the male species are the beautiful ones and they need nothing to add to it. Between 'enhancement' and 'beauty', beauty is the larger market because of the affordability factor.


Aging is inevitable and the faster we understand that, the better off we are. Glad that you found it funny at least :D

prateek mathur said...

I get what u trying to say...but when u say "sexual fantasies", it gets into a domain where everything has to be white and tight!(not my personal opinion but the general mindset)
Not in routine daily lives, but definitely in fantasies...and that's what they sell...
Over-rating virginity roots back to relating sex with chastity..and our pathetic society applies that to only women..thats sad!

Blogwati Gee said...

See that is where the problem lies. They sell a fantasy that does not exist. Pray explain how does a tighter vagina help in Salsa? Maybe I am missing something :P And this reminds me of a phrase I heard back in college "Describe the worst blow job you ever had". "Fantastic" was the reply.....I rest my case :D

prateek mathur said...

Salsa in that ad was just symbolism to a happy wedding I guess...I am unmarried but may be couples are all chirpy and feel like dancing when they have a good and happy sex life! :)
On a serious note, reality doesn't sell in this country...u have to weave ur reality in the webs of unrealistic fantasies...sugar coating, if u will...
From a total marketing perspective, I think I get it a little...not from the feminist point of view for sure! I mean I can't defend the ad!

Blogwati Gee said...

It was anything but feminist. And you think people dance when they are happy and married and you said that in the same sentence.......how naive you are :P

Let me talk to you once you get married. LOL!

sangeeta said...

Bang on lady. Loving your post. I wonder why I haven't read the rest of your blog yet. My bad :(

Blogwati Gee said...

Better late than never Sangeeta. Aap aaye toh bahar aayi.....warna main andar baithi thi :P

Nirvana said...

Atta girl!! Anything in the market to cure 'moron-ity'? These ad guys need it pronto...... awesome post ofcourse!

Blogwati Gee said...

Nirvana, thanks girl...getting addicted to your compliments :)

Bikramjit said...

WOW.. Way to go .. Awesome..
Read a lot of contest entries on the 18 again contest.. but this one is different ..

and the last two lines say it all .. indeed ..

although saw that song today first time and now much impressed with it ..

Bikram's

Vicckey said...

Awesome vini....precise....frank.....creative vinitism yet feels just like a chat with u....that's what I love most about ur writing!!!! Haven't read a lot that u hv blogged but will surely get on with it....

Pixie said...

LOL!!
brilliant! :D

shooting star said...

brilliant read!!!

18 again - not thank you..not only will i dont wanna be there, im damn sure the hubby would be really hating it, he loves the sexy comfortable me :P

http://sushmita-smile.blogspot.in/

vasu said...

Gr8 post ! U manage 2 hold the readers attention ! And that is what matters,in this age , when people hardly read !

Phoenixritu said...

Yes! Bang on Vinita, loved your post

Ash said...

whoa! brilliant!! :D

Ila Johari said...

From the title I walked into ur blog assuming it must be something to do wid bollywood and it turned out to be more gripping than any bollywood masala.loved it.
Ila
Thefleamarketqueen.blogspot.com
Enter my first giveaway worth 6000rs

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks Bikram.....but this post managed to make you like the ad......not good *wonders*

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks Vicckey, that is an awesome compliment...coz I do write just that way.

Blogwati Gee said...

Pixie.....tee hee....:D

Blogwati Gee said...

Phoenixritu.....coming from you, it made my day :)

Blogwati Gee said...

Ash....Merci ...

Blogwati Gee said...

Shooting Star....exactly....why change when we have come so far?

Blogwati Gee said...

Thanks Vasu, you are very generous indeed.

Blogwati Gee said...

Ila, yup I do have a fetish for apt titles that mislead......lol!

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