Monday, May 28, 2012

Musically Yours



Browsing through the supermarket lanes that are stocked with things I don’t need, but will buy eventually, a familiar song gets me humming and then singing in gay abandon. “Can I touch you there? Touch you deep inside? ……….Can I touch you thereeeeeee?” At the sound of me screeching, my 10 year old turns around; her eyeballs ready to pop out of her sockets “YUCK MOM!!! What are you singing? Please stop embarrassing me!!! ”. I sheepishly tried to explain that Michael Bolton was talking about touching the heart (??) of a woman, but she simply did the Houdini on me.  (And you thought only Bollywood suffered the lame lyrics syndrome, ha!)


Talking about musical idiocrasies, the 1990’s were so traumatic for me that I was almost left scarred for life. Now get this, I am a hardcore non-vegetarian and no, the many videos urging me to turn in my fangs, did not yield any success. But that first time I heard Bappida croon ‘Youare my chicken fry, you are my fish fry, kabhi na kehna kudiye, bye bye bye’…….I almost signed up to be the PETA poster girl!

Around the same time, Bollywood decided to unleash the fresh Virar ka chokra unto us along with his khatiya, chaadar, takiya and tambu. The recycled Mithunda and Big B were still going strong (?) and we had a deluge of songs of strange human sounds unheard before. These chartbusters were blaring the eardrums everywhere right from Superhit Muqabla and Navratri to Ganesh Visarjan.

Coining a new word almost became the equivalent of the ‘item song’ today or the ‘cabaret’ of yesteryears. Novel expressions that joined the receding Hindi vocabulary were chu chu chu, gutur gutur, tan tanantan tan tan tara, tammatamma, oye oye, tutak tutak tutiyan, ole ole ole, hai huku hai huku hai hai, tu tu tu tu tara, angoori angoori, uee ya uee ya,  aa ee uu oo, kuku kuku and sexy sexy sexy (changed to baby baby baby coz it was just not acceptable) just to name a few.

Catchy phrases that made it right from eve teasing to proposing to a girl or for simple fraandships sake were considered hep. Some gems were ‘kurta phaad ke’, ‘saiyanne aisi bowling kari’, meri pant bhi sexy,atariya par lotan kabutar’, ‘sarkailo khatiya’, ‘ek chumma tumujhko udhar de de’, ‘aaja meri gaadi main baith ja’, ‘Een Meen Sade teen,‘Bharo, maang meri bahro’, 'tu cheeze badi hai mast mast', 'Khada HainKhada Hain', and 'choli ke peeche'.  No prizes for guessing, my sanity and vanity both were irreparably damaged. I thought nothing could be worse!

And then Himmmmmmmmesh happened! Euthanasia should have been made legal there and then; SLB would not have needed to make Guzaarish to prove a point. For fear of losing page views and (my face) on my blog, I won’t be listing his nasal war cries that he subjected us to. Please to Google!  Though AR Rehman brought interim relief, with the onslaught of the Munnis, Sheilas, Razias, Jalebi Bais, Lailas and their ilk, all mayhem broke loose!   Today, music is something I shudder to think of as soul soothing. Noise and non- sense pretty much take up most of the space. The rest, if any left at all, remains for the gyrating movements that are meant to titillate the front benchers. BTW does this tribe still exist? Whatever happened to the intelligent cinema goers tag?

Never mind that, have you heard the latest? Since books are slowly becoming redundant to the newer generation, age old fairy tales have now been revamped as musical video books with an original soundtrack. Here, a sneak peak of the future chartbusters, think you can figure the stories?

What’s my name, what’s my name, what’s my name? My name is Rumple…. Rumple…stiltskani, I am just too sho-rt for you, bas yeh mere life ki kahani! 





Eeen Meen Saade teen, baaj gayi apni been, bhedi-ya aaye din, lega badla gin gin, kaise bachhe hum ab, ghar jo gaya hai udh udh udh udh?




Batak Batak, Batak Batak, Arrree beh gaya paani main re, mere aasoonoon ka samundar hai ….




Ek chumma tu mujhko udhar dai de, hum badle toh, 'Gar hum badle toh Congress Sarkar lai le!





Banno badnaam hui, bhootnath tere liye….banno ke gal gulbai, hont sharabi, baal kebabi haiii, tulsi aangan ki hui, bhootnath  tere liye




Sona kitna sona hai, sona hai tujhe jaane mann, sun zara sun kya kehta hoon, 100 saalon ki aye buddhan, tu meri, tu meri, tu meri, tu meri, tu meri Beauty No 1.


Ella main toh, ella main main toh, ella main toh, ella main main toh, ……….ella main toh ella….. Cinderella!

All image courtesies : Google



Now that you are probably scratching your head as to when did we become the glorified Bhojpuri industry, I’ll leave, happy to have transferred the scary musical notes unto you. I’m going to unwind with a cup of coffee and one of my fav songs  ‘Chupke Chupke, raat din……aasoon bahana yaad hai…………….humko ab tak aashiqui ka woh zamana yaad hai’







30 comments:

Rahul Bhatia said...

The clutter of songs you reminisced shows the down slide journey of Indian music over the decades! Sigh:(

Blogwati Gee said...

Rahul@ trust me this is just the tip of the iceberg......if I were to chronicle the debacle, I'd have to dedicate an entire new blog to it.

Guru Uncle said...

You get what you deserve. Cinesongs have become tapori tarranums just as English language is getting twists and turns in the hands of texters. Literature is loiterature, verse is worse and prose is crass.
Must be global warming that is causing downslide all around.

Dinesh Pal said...

you have very well captured the one side of music industry.. love it.. and laughed at it.. yes some songs were atrocious. the other side of the coin is that in this chaos too still there were some good songs like Qayamat se Qayamat tak, Jo jeeta vohi Sikander, Aashiqui.. and many more.. And yes that was the age where the pop and ghazals were simultaneously existing on the music Scene. Today alteast these two genres have died.

Kinara :) said...

Shows how worse the lyrical industry is doing today! :(
You have shared it very nicely though. I liked how expressive the small funny lines with pics are !

Confused Soul said...

Hahaha what a hilarious post! :D

Hehe but the irony is all that you mentioned are so true. The music industry in our country has taken a downward turn, where anything nonsensical can become a hippy and top the chartbusters! It's just insane !

Noella Abigail said...

hahaha... really jus 2 good.... n of course true... jus hoping it never turns out d way dis blog ends.... killing d fantasies of d good old fairytales v all love.... ;)

The madrasi said...

This was something that I always wondered about..Gone are the days of evergreen bolly songs..these days its just sheilas and munni ruling the town
you got a regular follower here

vasu said...

Loved this blog post.The melody era is over though some songs still make us happy.I believe,we are westernising rapidly only in terms of sex,crudeness etal.

A said...

Omg, this is hilarious!!! :D very, very well written! Your captions for those Disney movies are awesome. Following your blog now, keep writing!

Blogwati Gee said...

@Guru Uncle..hate to say it, but yes you are so darn right! Just wish this could all turn back around

@Dinesh...Yes of course, there have been some great songs and lyrics and they exist even today....but it's just how low can we go that bothers me....we manage to surprise ourselves all the time

Blogwati Gee said...

@Kinara...I am so worried we won't have any musical inclinations for the generations to come.

@Confused Soul....Hola girl! Yup it is insane....and there seems to be no respite

Blogwati Gee said...

@Noella....at the rate we are going and judging the cartoon network translations....this pretty much could be reality soon.

@The Madrasi....love your name BTW :)Thanks for dropping by and staying. And yes, not a fan of Sheila or Munni for that matter!

Blogwati Gee said...

@Vasu...The sad bit is that there is so little of the good music to go around. Was watching some kid go Ballistic over Nicki Minhaj on Ellen Degeneres Show....and the lyrics were ballistic to say the least.....and here was an 8 yr old...rattling them off!!!! Sigh!

@A....Thanks so much...........but hope this fairy tale thingi don't come true

Purba said...

Can't imagine the kind of emotional wreckage you are capable of unleashing on young, innocent kids!
Please, please stay a mile away from them.....

Btw every time Bolton sings Can I touch you..I giggle and blush a beetroot red :D

Blogwati Gee said...

@Purba Yeh ilzaam bebuniyaad hai mi'lard........the child is the father of man or something like that na???

Waise Bolton Maharaj ki jai ho!

Dick Readymoney said...

U sure are Musically inclined, bonus is u r lyrically inclined too :).

Blogwati Gee said...

@DR Gracias! and yup, I know! :D

Irfanuddin said...

well, the best thing is you don't have to follow all bollywood songs.... There are many excellent songs with meaningful lyrics and melodious music even in today's hindi movies. Undoubtedly there are more crap things these days, But who cares, like the old proverb "Races for the courses" They are producing what appeals to most of the people, and that is crap of course, no doubt....

BTW a very well written beautiful post....:)

Blogwati Gee said...

@Irfanuddin completely agree but as I mentioned earlier too....how low is too low...? This music I am sure does not appeal to many....yet it thrives. Creativity can be a double edged sword :)

Raindrop said...

main tera tota...tu meri maina...you brought back those days when humming along was no less dangerous than uttering the f word. and there was seemingly harmless tip tip barasa paani....until someone pointed out the ewww aspect of it :)

Sonia Rao said...

Blogwati G, the decline has definitely set in. Innuendo has replaced the nuanced.

And so your dire prediction about the fairy tales doesn't seem too implausible ;(.

Enjoyed reading this post :))

Rajrupa said...

You sure are musically inclined...But its so true...whatever you have written here!

Recent music...*sigh*

But at least some good music is still being made in Bengali...

You got yourself a follower! :)

Blogwati Gee said...

@Raindrop......Oh yeah! The gems of days gone by...:)

@ Rajrupa...welcome! Good music is definitely alive or I would have been deaf by now....but it is the other side that scares me...and hence this post :)

@Soniaji..thank you, you are too kind :)

Nikita Banerjee Bhagat said...

I agree we have had some horrible songs in the past but then if you look at the bollywood music scene today, we have a mixed bag. Loads of new talent and many a new perspective as well :)

prateek mathur said...

nice compilation...and really funny...Himesh and euthanasia, Classic!

You should probably submit it to a movie blog too like Filmistani! :)

Suruchi said...

OH MY GOD! I think you picked up almost every absurd dhabba to music, except that while you were writing this, the industry was busy with churning out more-Imported kamariya and Second hand jawani, anyone?

And the worst is when I try to teach my little one "Om bhoor bhawa swaha...." she asks me to recite Tinku Jiya or Chinta ta ta instead...PHEW!

A sad state of musical affairs..... Michael Bolton though did that song deliberately to fire imaginations and I loved it too :D

Blogwati Gee said...

Yup, today we do have a mixed bag but the lyrics of some are horrendous. I can't call them lyrics!

Blogwati Gee said...

Nah! I am good here....besides the least famous these guys are the better :P

Blogwati Gee said...

Suruchi, I hear you! And oh dear lord that chintu jiya!

Michael Bolton toh I am still trying to figure his muse :P

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